this is so hard about me; i'am transwoman that what they say now to me it is just a label ,from the early age of 6 i always thought i should be a girl not a boy. i feel i was born in the wrong body, my mom always said i make a better girl than a boy. i always wanted dolls to play with i never hang out with the boys just the girls. i took dance lessons ballet tap ball room,one day my mom ask me what clothes i wanted, i said i want what all girls want dresses and skirts blouses sandals heels so that what she bought me she raised me as a girl. i went to elementary school they thought i was a girl never said anything i wore dresses and skirts, i wore girls shoes. my cousins would always give my mom clothes for me to wear. my mom work 2 jobs to keep food on the table and a roof over our heads. when she was off on Sundays we go shopping for clothes if we had enough money. than my dad came home said i needed to go to a doctor. my mom and dad took me the doctor sent me to Psychiatrist, after seeing the doctor there for months he told my mom and dad i did not feel that i was a boy i was a girl inside. he called it at that time was gender disorder. my dad did not like it, my mom said is what i wanted to be is a girl that is what i'am as far as she concerned i was her daughter. my dad was so mad he took us and moved us to Florida thinking this was going to change me, he said it a new start, i was still wearing girls clothes pants tops panties shoes not so much on the dresses and skirts only when my dad was not home, which was not very often only when he need money or a place to crash for a couple of nights. my first day at school in florida i wore just what all the girls was wearing my hair was long i had a dress on they sent me home, said i can't wear that to school here in florida i have to wear boys clothes well my mom went to the school board, than we went to court after reading what the doctor said about me, the judge said i can wear girls pants and tops keep my hair long was not to take gym and be ready for being teasing and called lots of names. which i was already use to being tease and called every name you can think of i was the kid that you see sitting by herself on a bench or in the lunch room i had 4 friends they were girls and to friends that were boys as far as most just called me names was beaten up and tease a lot mostly by boys. when i was 13 years old something inside of me went crazy i was hurting cramps in my tummy so the school called my mom at work she came and got me and took me to the doctor before we got to the doctor office i was bleeding my pants was soaked with blood so the put me in the hospital for i had my male part yet and still do that one part that did not ever grow it is still one inch and half long they ran test after test took x-rays when they found out i had some inside parts that was female wanted to do a sex change then my dad would not here of it so i was stuck again my breast was slowly growing mom took me to get my first bra when i went back to school that next year i was a B cup  than the teasing was really on except for one boy he said i was pretty and would like for me to be his girl friend so we dated went to dances and the movies out to eat he even took me to the prom he was my first love first kiss before high school was over my first guy i made love to. as i got older i was thinking one day i always did like boys,men never had a girlfriend other than having girls as friends and best friends where we went shopping the mall movies sleepover back in my younger years it was a slumber party i work as a waitress,cashier,than one day this lady came in the truck stop i was working as a waitress and cashier she told me if i learned to drive a truck i could see the USA and make money without holding down 2 jobs i said who will teach me she said i will give your 2 weeks notice i be back in 2 weeks you can go with me i did i learn to dive a truck and was so happy when i did when she did not take me out her husband did was not long they gave me my first job driving a truck i drove one for 30 years love every day of it than i was into office work for 13 years till i got R/a and O/A had bypass now i'am on disability now i sit a home most of the time wishing i could meet a man like before he was that special guy he love me for who i'am for 20 years died of lung cancer just looking for that special guy to love me for who i'am in return he will get all my love heart and soul be treated like a king in his castle i know it a long about me if you want a friend, best friend,lover or what you are looking for take me as i'am who i'am you never know you may miss out for the friend you ever have thank you for taking time to read hugs and love to you my friends Billie